Saturday, May 7, 2011

"Just Living is Not Enough, One Must Have Sunshine, Freedom and a Little Flower."

It has been along time since I have written in my blog. I guess life had just really taken over there for awhile. In November of 2010 my life really came to a hault when my family and I  went through what some people would call a "life changing experience." I don't want to get into the details of the experience but it really affected everything around me. When something like this happens you really have to sit back and let God take the wheel and trust in him that everything will work out. For the first time I really had to let him control everything. Strangely enough...it was not that hard to do and in the end there was success. I guess I felt as though whatever I was going through at the time wasn't working so somebody had to take the reins. I was at one of the lowest times of my life and I was trying to maintain a somewhat normal schedule for the girls. It was very hard, but I did it. I also had to go to work everyday and put a fake smile on my face, which come to find out, I did that often. Depression, stress, guilt, resentment was a front row seat in my life. I almost lost my teaching job and broke up my family. Hard times for me, Pete and the girls. I began seeing a therapist, which was one of the best decisions in my life. I have learned so much about myself and the healing process has begun. My school was unbelievably supportive and through all of the hard times I really established some great friendships with people whom I never thought I would be close to. So now here I am, 6 months later....and I feel like a new person! I have set up some very healthy boundaries with my family and with people I work with. I have released the negative people in my life who have affected me and it feels so tremendous! This whole process has really opened the doors to who my TRUE friends are.
Today, I am still working hard on this sole searching adventure but I feel I am getting better and better everyday. Things are falling into place so perfectly. I still have low days of course but I know how to handle them better. Above all I have distinguished the guilt and resentment that once harbored me and I am now moving on with my life. I wish my family and friends the same kind of peace that I am sitting with today. I am enjoying life, depending on God for everything and have fallen in love with Pete in a way I thought was never possible. I will leave you with this quote which I find so true. "What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him." Louis L. Mann

Jill

2 comments:

joshbeth said...

Love it and love you!!!

Cathryn said...

You are an inspiration... A beautiful and strong woman!! Remember to draw near to God when need peace, answers and calming!! I Love You!!